I could be one of those people that if left near a computer during the day that would make a billion posts. I think I'll just try to sum up things going through my head lately as opposed to making a dedicated post about something. If it strikes you, make a comment. I'm sure there'll be something in here for everybody.
Whoopi Goldberg ~ Can you be any more of a douchebag? You UNDERSTAND what Michael Vick did and are actually condoning it? What kind of fucking stupidity is that? This "I'm with him because he's black too" shit has gotta stop, folks. Really. If Vick were white would she have come out on the view and said that we all have to understand his actions were simply a result of his upbringing and said it so calmly? Need I remind you people that he not only bred dogs for the exclusiive purpose of tearing each other apart, but when they didn't perform he hung them from trees or burnt them alive? Hey Whoopi.... FUCK YOU!
Man-Hug revisited ~ It happened again last night with my buddy Charlie. I took a half step back as he was going for it and wen't "that's ok" and the bastard took a half step forward and did the "oh c'mere you" move. I swear somebody keyed him into my post about it and he did it on purpose. Is there no chance of ever getting out of this thing? More research is needed on the evasion tactics, I feel. I'll bring the results to you as they come in.
Stubble Nuts ~ Wow. I see posts on how to make a million dollars doing nothing don't generate a comment. Make one teensy tiny little confession about how you shave your ass and they come out of the woodwork, though. Is that how it has to be around here? You people scare me. Oh well, I guess it's off to see what a proper shave with a razor will make things. From what you women say I'll all have you taking deli numbers for a turn. Who can refuse that? Not me, that's for sure. *sigh* The things I do for comments and prolonged oral. Somebody's gotta do it for chrissakes.
Mouse in the House ~ I'm officially on the hunt. It's getting cool and I live on a lake. What does that mean? It means that all the little hoppies and crawlies want to make my home thiers for a winter nap. Not so fast you little rat bastards. I'm ready for your asses this year. I went out and bought no less than 40 dollars of exotic means to either deter/erradicate/kill/maim your rodent asses. I'm gonna go full on terminator because I don't want you scratching under the house or in my walls anymore. I do promise you this though. In my purchases I bought a have-a-heart mouse trap. It catches and doesn't kill. If I catch one of the little fuckers I'll name him after a post-er here and keep him in a cage as a pet. How I'll ever explain to anybody that I have mice with the names like "That cantaloupe fucking Captain" or some such, I'll never know. I give you my word that I'll do it, however. Maybe we can have a contest about it all. Of course, I have to catch one of the little fuckers first. That's the tricky part.
The Dream Interview ~ Another great idea by yours truly. I think I'm gonna ( or rather I want to ) do some posts calld "20 Questions With....". Maybe I'll even start with Lozo seeing as how it's his blog that inspired me to do this crap. More than likely he'll tell me to fuck off or something but who knows. 20 GOOD questions, though. None of this A/S/L crap. Dave, if you are reading this gimme a nod if you think it'd be ok to shoot you an e-mail where you answer 20 random questions and then I can post it here. If not, then maybe I'll move onto one of you other fine folks. Personally, I think it'd be neat to have a little blogebrity type interview somewhere. Maybe we'll all learn something new about an individual or get introduced to a new blog we've never seen before because of it. I assure you.... however they write the replies, I will post them verbatim. No funny business going on. Thoughts?
That's about it. No slick pics or vids because I'm a little crunched for time. Like I said, no real one thought in particular to make a post. Just mentally upchucking a few things in your general direction is all. Excuse me now whilst I go research what type of razor is exactly the best to shave your balls with. Be good, fuckers. And if you can't, e-mail me the pics. ;)
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15 comments:
Tip #1 - Try saying, "What? Are we dating?" Like from Starksy & Hutch.
Tip #2 - Don't refer to taking a razor blade to your man parts and a deli counter in the same two sentences.
Tip #3 - Mortar is a boy's name, FYI, but don't let that stop you from using it indiscriminately in naming rodents.
Tip #4 - Mental upchuck is the spice of life.
That is all.
Mort ~ always helpful little tidbits of advice from you. I'll make note of the deli and male genitalia referrence in the future. I feel the need to say something about salami but I guess it's too late now.
D.O.T.M. ~ EVERYWHERE? Woman, are you insane? I can't imagine what a shaved balloon knot would be like. How on earth would I fart and still let it be silent? If I had to imagine, it'd be like two pieces of ham slapping together. My cover would be blown. I'll take you up on the offer of the after party, though. Lord knows I'm always up for a good time with your yellow ass ;)
Vickie ~ Who the hell knew that was going to happen,huh? Taliban. Hurricanes. World hunger. These are all issues that should light up the discussions. What do I get? Unbridled joy from everybody as they discuss the finer points of me being a naked mole rat. *sigh* Oh hey... smelly balls? Please tell me I'm not lumped into that sector of life that once was. I remember the get in and get out. I don't ever recall an upturned nose, though.
Whoopi Goldberg- tell me how you really feel…
Race not being an issue, I really don’t see how what he did was so wrong. At least he didn’t steal and torture human babies. I don’t know, I guess I’m not much of animal person…
MsP
i kind of agree with you msp. i like dogs and don't get me wrong what he did was wrong. but he is gettign 12 to 18 months for what he did. rapist get less time then that.
you have to wonder what we as a public are saying and what kind of messages we are sending out. it's not ok to torture and kill dogs but rape a woman and you will do less time in prison. hmmmm...makes you think.
you know in asian countries they eat dogs.
I was watching some comedian talk about Michael Vick and he made a damn good point. "If you really want to piss white people off, fuck with animals." It's true. You fuck with our pets and we'll fuck with you harder. Fuck Michael Vick. He deserves whatever they give him.
Whoopi- Shut up, and while you're at it take some career advice from yours truly and never make another movie. Especially not ones where youre a Nun imposter who teaches poor unruly black kids to sing. When you, yourself, can not sing a lick.
The whole Michael Vick thing. I dunno. I'm one of those dog people I guess. I rescued both of mine. I've always had them growing up and enjoy thier company. Fighting them? I really don't care for it. If you want to get rid of one there's certainly a more humane way to do it than throwing gasoline on one and lighting it on fire.
As for Whoopi... heh. Now there's the REAL dark horse in this conversation. I don't get how she became one of the beloved actress/comedians that everybody loves so much. Sort of like Rosie O'Donnell. Fake fake fake fake. Put on a face for the people but secretly despise those that she entertains. Remember the Ted Danson days and how she thought it would be a hoot to have him in blackface eating watermellon? She's as bigoted as they come. Would she ever admit to it and be un-PC in open public? Heavens no. Then she wouldn't have a paycheck. Go away, Whoopi. Just go away.
I took a half step back as he was going for it and wen't "that's ok" ...
What? You don't like the feeling of a man's penis pressing up against you as you hug?
I can't imagine what a shaved balloon knot would be like. How on earth would I fart and still let it be silent? If I had to imagine, it'd be like two pieces of ham slapping together.
I almost shit my pants reading that. Luckily, it would have been silent.
what is this.... quote your favorite line day?
Bottle .... it's not about the penis rubbing. But now that you mention it, no. I guess I wouldn't be too fond of that either. It's more of a personal space issue. Like I said from the get-go. I psychiatrist would look at me and go "Yeap, career waiting to happen allrighty".
Mort ... Maybe your shit would have been silent, but mine would have been cleaner. You know. Sort of like when a dog goes and it's an expressway to the drop zone. No fur or nuttin holding anything back. :)
GIven that most bloggers have ADD yetcan surprisingly sit for hours reading hundreds of blogs in hrs ( but no more than 250 words per blog) I think you should pare it down to 10 questions.Well,you did ask!
ya know. You have the awesome point of the day award coming to you Uber. How can and ADD sufferer sit for hours on end looking at all the same crap is beyond me. It's so strange a concep...
oh look, something shiny.....
I'm sorry. But as I was saying. 10 questions it is. They'd have to get straight to the point of some interesting shit, though. I only have the 10. The offer still stands for Lozo because it was his blog that got me started on this crap. I think in time I'd like to hit you all up for the same treatement in due time, though.
Looks like someone beat you to the idea of interviewing Lozo.
I'll have to take a look over there. For all I know it was somebody who breezed over here and jumped the gun on me. Meh... I won't really lose a ton of sleep on the whole thing. It was one of those passing idea sort of things I guess.
I dunno... link me in here or sumthin. I couldn't find it.
ha ha ha ha ha.... sorry about the updates. I'll update in short order. Work's been kicking my ass lately folks. This weekend I'll put in some good effort. Promise. ;)
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